WIFE (to son): Don't let me EVER catch you lying to me again!
ME: Does he need your permission for that?
WIFE: OK, what I meant was that I don't want to ever catch you lying to me again!
ME: So the real problem here was that you caught him?
WIFE: Don't EVER lie to me again!
ME: He can lie to everyone else?
WIFE: DON'T TELL LIES!
ME: (What about writing or tweeting or singing lies?)
WIFE (to me): Just be quiet already!!!!!! You KNOW what I mean!
Whoops. Methinks it is time to turn off the mental "auto-correct" button.