WIFE (to son): Don't let me EVER catch you lying to me again!
ME: Does he need your permission for that?
WIFE: OK, what I meant was that I don't want to ever catch you lying to me again!
ME: So the real problem here was that you caught him?
WIFE: Don't EVER lie to me again!
ME: He can lie to everyone else?
WIFE: DON'T TELL LIES!
ME: (What about writing or tweeting or singing lies?)
WIFE (to me): Just be quiet already!!!!!! You KNOW what I mean!
Whoops. Methinks it is time to turn off the mental "auto-correct" button.
Many moons ago when I worked with teenagers touring Israel at the beginning of the trip we always gave them a lecture of the severe consequences if we ever caught them with alcohol, and by-and-large they were very obliging and we almost never caught them.
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