Monday, September 10, 2007

Chumra of the Week Club

Sorry if this has done the rounds already - I thought it was hysterical.

Yonaty and Mehadrin Min Hamehadrin Min Hamehadrin are pleased to introduce:

The Chumra of the Week Club

• Are you concerned that people don't notice and appreciate your yiras

• Do you sometimes get the feeling that your neighbor is observing
more chumras than you?

• Have you ever noticed someone looking at your tefillin during
shacharis as though there were something wrong with them?

• Do people occasionally hesitate when you extend them an invitation
to eat at your home, or ask what hashgachos you rely on?

• Has anyone ever said to you in surprise: "Oh, are you maikel?"

If you have ever been faced by any of these mortifying scenarios, The
Chumra of the Week Club (CWC) is for you!

CWC is a new concept in real, authentic, ostentatous Yiddishkeit.
Never again will you be upstaged! Never again will you be at a loss
for a chumra! We supply you weekly with the very best in conspicuous
yiras shomayim! (Please note that due to lack of demand for "bein adam
l'chaveyro" chumras, all CWC chumras are "bein adam lamakom".)

Special Introductory Offer (limited time only): Join now and
immediately receive three free chumras from our database (from the
categories of your choice) as our introductory gift to you.
Thereafter, each Friday you will receive full source material for a
new, exciting, additional chumra which you can immediately put into
use. Within a short time you will have amassed a chumra list that will
amaze your friends and make you the envy of your kollel or shul.

Guarantee: We absolutely GUARANTEE all our chumras to be of the
highest quality! Our full-time staff is busy combing the Bar Ilan CD
ROM for the most obscure strictures. (Note that with Super-frum and
Over-the-top membership you can receive even more obscure and
personalized chumras - guaranteed to dumfound both friend and foe.)

Return Policy: If you are not delighted with any chumra you receive
from us, you may return it for exchange within 7 days of receipt - no
questions asked. Simply state the reason for the return (to help us
serve you better in future), and the category from which you wish to
receive your replacement chumra.

Reasons for return may include (but are not limited to):

• You are already observing a chumra of equal or greater stringency.
(Unlikely, as our chumras are hand-picked for uniqueness and

• You know someone who is already observing the same chumra.

• The chumra is not noticeable enough.

• The chumra does not inconvenience other people

• Keeping the chumra would involve personal hardship

Accompanying Factsheet: Our chumras come from a wide range of
lesser-known achronim, including: the "Pi Ha'ason," and the "Shtus
Vehevel." Each chumra comes complete with a fully annotated fact sheet
that includes:

• A photocopy of the source material

• A list of justifications for your chumra

• Suggestions on how to introduce the chumra into casual conversation

• Member feedback and success stories

Don't suffer any longer! Don't sit back as others beat you in the race
to the top! Join CWC today and benefit from the special introductory
offer! Start your own personal database of show-stopping chumras by
completing the form overleaf and mailing it to us with your payment



Please complete form and send, with your cheque, to The Chumra of the
Week Club, c/o Yonaty Design and Publishing, 12/13 Shalom Bonayich,
Netivot 87804, Israel.

Title (check one):

□ Harav

□ Harav Hagaon

□ Harav Hatzaddik

□ Hagaon Hatzaddik

□ Kvod Kodsho

□ Moreinu Verabeinu

□ Adoneinu Moreinu Verabeinu

□ Hamara De'asra

□ G'dol Hador

□ Other (please specify): __________________

Name ___________ ben ___________ ben ___________ ben ___________

(You must be able to supply genealogical data for the past four
generations to be eligible for CWC).

Surname: _______________

Address: ___________________________________________________________

Phone: ____________ email: __________________


Indicate the level of membership you wish to purchase (check one):

□ Regular (one new, eye-popping stringency per week - $500 p/a)

□ Super-frum (same as Regular PLUS one super-unusual chumra every six
months - $650 p/a)

□ Over-the-top (same as Super-frum PLUS an annual chumra tailor-made
for you, and guaranteed to be totally unique - $950 p/a.)


To help us custom-tailor your personal chumra selection, please circle
the following, as applicable:

1) Litvak / Chassidic / Sephardic

2) FBB / BT

3) Type of coat worn (check one):

□ short - single breasted

□ short - double-breasted

□ knee-length - Two buttons on back? ( YES / NO )

□ ankle-length

□ drags on floor

Years in kollel _______ Current occupation: _____________________________


Yes, please rush me my three introductory chumras by return post!
(Check three categories below from which you would like to receive
your free chumras):

□ Food - Fleishigs

□ Food - Milchigs

□ Davening

□ Clothing

□ Tefillin and Tzitzis

□ Miscellaneous

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