Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Its nearly all over

Well, one kitten died this morning. I don't think the other one is going to last much longer. (In fact since I started writing this post the second one has shuffled of its mortal coil also - at about 10:00 last night). I'm not sure if it was just too cold for them (even with the hot water bottle and blankets) or whether i fed them wrong, or whether they missed their mother, or whether they were just not meant to live. They started giving up in the middle of the night. They didn't really want to eat, and were just mewing pathetically. They also started to feel very cold, and even though I tried to warm them I think it was too little too late.

Even though we knew from the beginning that this would probably be the ending it still a bit sad. Why should I care, or anyone (yes, even you reading this)? Surely G-d has His plans, and this was supposed to be this way.

I'm reminded of the end of Sefer Yonah. When the gourd dies and Yonah is sad, G-d says to him, "You took pity on the gourd for whihch you did not labour, nor did you make it grow. It lived one night and perished after one night. Should i not take pity on Ninveh that great city, in which there are more than a 100,000 people who do not know their right hand form their left and many animals as well"

I know that they are vermin, but if G-d takes pity on even the many animals of Ninveh, should we not at least feel a sense of pity, even if it may be daft to act on it?

Also, as a mussar message for myself - if I am prepared to take pity on a tiny kitten, should i not also have pity on myself. By that I mean, if I am prepared to go without sleep for the sake of something that will die, should I not be prepared to go without sleep for life? When it comes to learning Torah I sometimes feel as though I am too exhausted to make it to my chevruta, or to open a sefer on my own. If it was a dying kitten wouldn't I make sure to be there and be awake? So for my own life how much more so!

Thank you everyone for reading, and acting in place of therapy for me. I know the whole thing was really silly, and I should have left them to die. But I am too much of a wimp for that to have ever been a real option.

here is a very short video of the black kitten taken a couple of hours before it died. The squeak had already gone out of it.

Please feel free to leave a condolence message below (or to tell me how stupid I am).
Thank you for reading


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