inside the monkey suit - Jblogger convention

There is a principle in halacha that people don't lie about something which can easily be proven false.

Which is why I don't understand the guys who found Bigfoot. What were they thinking? Perhaps nobody will notice it is a rubber monkey suit?
Quite honestly I couldn't care less if there is a bigfoot or not, but how dumb can Americans be to think they could convince anyone with a rubber suit and some possum dna?

Which brings me to my main subject...

I was at the JBloggers conference last night. Ok, there was probably no possum dna there, but the rest was the same (apart from the rubber monkey suit).

I'm not sure what I was expecting. I was hoping to learn tips for blogging, ways to increase readership, ideas for blogs, software etc. - and of course some free food!

It was so disappointing!! To be fair I left after Bibi (May I call you Prime Minister on Miluim) Netanyahu finished boring me silly with his tripe. So perhaps the evening improved. I had to leave because my brain had turned into blancmange and I couldn't take any more.

It was packed with people, but I found myself embarrassed to say I was a blogger. I was tempted to grab a press sticker and hide in the back.

The first speaker began with a d'var Torah about the importance of humility. To a room full of people who were only interested in self-promotion! (Come on, be honest. Which blogger doesn't dream of a mass readership and changing the world? Everyone is in it to some extent for the ego trip. Yes, even me!)

To see and hear people who write so brilliantly, but really didn't have anything to say when facing a room full of people was sad and actually quite pathetic. There was no clear agenda, no proper discussion, no difficult questions, and no content. I learnt more from 5 minutes browsing the web than I did from 2 hours last night.

And why did they invite Bibi? I know why he wants the publicity - it is election year after all. But to watch the women primp and preen as he walked in (a quick application of lipstick - with him there is always a chance). Then he waffled on (not the waffle iron they were raffling - or the raffle iron they were waffling) for almost an hour about such interesting topics as the CERN particle accelerator and a course in Jewish history. He was asked the most benign questions (can I sign up for your party? Do you think blogging will change the world) by a fawning audience who cheered his every word! I thought bloggers were supposed to be independent thinkers. Apparently most of them just want to find a party line to tow! (although apparently kumah picked up on that and mentioned it in his talk later in the evening).

If I would have gone to a Star Trek convention it would have been equally geeky and probably just as boring - but at least there would have been some fun costumes!

The only funny line of the night was when Bibi tried to begin his speech with wit, by making fun of Jewlicious's name. Bibi said (imagine dark chocolate voice) 'Jewlicious?' To which David Abitbol replied 'Netanyahu?'

Unfortunately for me, the intelligent, witty and bright bloggers I read on the web were for the most part revealed as an empty monkey suit. They should have kept the conference in the freezer with Bigfoot.

(Though if they have the second JBloggers Conference next year, some of those who attend will have a chance to leave the bedroom for a second time!)